everyone but one is the clique is facing problems right now
major ones at that
but fiona's most carefree

gwen: " (dragging her words)
no wonder fiona dont really like hang out with us anymore
and like 'left' us .. our clique so many problems ..
some even linking to another person in the clique "

hafiz : " yeah.. maybe.."
(went silent for awhile, thinking about how true her statement was,
gwen went silent too -thinking)
"hey gwen..you're already thinking of leaving us too aren't you.
you're tired of facing these problems arent you.

i know you rather go with peini & colleen's clique, sure lesser problems than us"

gwen: " yah.. kinda.. they like always so happy.
with them also i dont have to worry so much. "

hafiz : "oh ... but whatever you decide to do, please dont ever leave me..
i cant do w/o a best friend like you.."

gwen: " dont lame lah, i wont leave you one. "

i hope she keeps her words ):
seriously, i cant imagine life w/o her .

she makes me laugh all the time
and no matter how harsh her comments about me
or what i do can be,
or how many times she did so,
i know that she did it only to help me improve and not just simply to bring me down.
& it just feels oh-so-good when she compliments something about me
or what i do.
haha

like i said, everyone but one is facing major problems right now.
i rather not show my emotions, adding to everyone else's worries
they already have had enough of problems

elena, seen most of the time with the glum face
deon and zeke suddenly going sad and even cry at times
gwen suddenly going quiet, thinking hard over stuffs

i rather be strong and be there for them
if everyone is sad
then who would do the accompanying and trying to cheerup
at least one has to stay happy for the rest to feel better too
it has to be me as fiona doesnt really go with us as much anymore,
apart from recess time

colleen : " huh..gwen, so hard for you ..you always so upset eh.."

hafiz : " its also hard for me ): never say me? ha-ha(tries to laugh)"

colleen : " huh, really ah? you also ah ? but you always smile mah, i thought ? "

hafiz : " smile on the outside, but on the inside? (puts on a smile)
haha but yeah.. but i gotta be strong. (explains everything) "

i'd only show my emotions when im alone w gwen,
preferably at quiet and lonely places
like carpark rooftops!
we usually go there together, the both of us
when we're really upset.
we'd talk it out- everything
and just cry our lungs out.
our topics may even flow from one to another, crying over different things.
after so, we'd feel just nice.
how can i ever do w/o her , HAH

like DARA in my last year's literature novel ' CLAY MARBEL ' ,
i've got to be strong, grow up and mature overnight .