maybe mrs pang was right
when she said this during the last LV lesson

" do you guys feel that once something bad happens at the start of the day,
the events following on will also be bad and sour ?
right, right ? "

to think everyone else agreed but me,
thinking that it's only the mindset
that's telling the person that its a bad day for him/her simply because
something bad happened at the start of the day

but today proved me wrong

it started off rough during my very first lesson
and the day simply ended sour

i can say that the whole day was rather hurting

for the first unfortunate event,
i was very, very disapointed w myself with what i have done
cried my lungs out

it seems that i havent gotten complete control of my emotions just yet
another 'break out' happened in class
once every year, i'll sure break out
at either a teacher or a classmate
damn, i just hate these break-outs
i feel damn bad afterwards

for the second time today,
im sorry fareez & madam zhou
& damn, i have yet to apologize to mrs pang,
couldnt find her.
i guess i'll have to find her on tuesday & apologize then .

i don't feel like talking about the next unfortunate event
moving on,

oh btw,
i teared a second time when i was alone w gwen
at the dnt block
she got me so touched, the way she said she loved her mum very much,
crying as she expressed herself
and was also v sad that nobody was home on her birthday night,
leaving her to stare into space alone .
i could totaly feel her affection for her mum.

i told her that she should submit her family stories to

"behind closed doors" as
she has so many stories to tell

& she giggled

i pity her,
her family already has problems
and she said that she has had enough of problems, esp outside home
but too bad for her, its doesnt stop
sigh..

dont worry gwen,
i will always be here for you
bestfriends forever!
haha
let's not let our 9 and a half years of friendship go to waste !
i love you gwen !
haha, not the girl-boy r/s btw

----------------------------------------------------------------------

like i said ,
today didnt really end pretty well
but i luckily had elena for company

i actually sent her home
i wonder if she was shocked when i said i was gg to send her from
haah !

we sat under her block for a little while

suddenly, a little malay boy
stopped cycling about 2 metres diagonally from where we were sitting
at gave the both of us a wide genuine smile
we smiled back

we were rather afraid
that a stranger suddenly smiled at us & so wide at that

he kept cycling around the area we were sitting at
and sat down near us too

the second time he sat near us,
i asked elena if she wanted to play catching with him
cause we felt that he was rather pitiful,
cycling alone under the void deck.

hafiz : " does he know how to play catching ? "

elena : " who doesnt ! "

hafiz : " who knows! he looks like he's deprived of a happy childhood
and doesnt really have siblings, considering him seen playing alone.
or maybe, his family has problems?
or maybe his parents divorced and he just feels lonely ? "

elena : " just ask lah "

i asked him and he agreed
and so the three of us played
oh boy, does elena suck at 'catching'
HAHA oops?

the little dude was quite a fast runner btw
but too bad, im still faster ^^

and we ended the game with a 'high-5'
as i sent elena up

and from that moment on,
i was alone.
im kinda still not used to going home alone actually
but too bad,
do i have a choice?

when i was walking to my block,
i heard a very familiar voice calling out my name
i turned back,
feeling so elated that i wasn't alone anymore,
but there was noone
..
was i hallucinating?
but i was so sure i heard it

" here ! " ,
the same voice called out again

i looked to my right side
and there she was,
fiona .
i was so happy to see her
and we sat and chatted under my block for a little while too

and now, im home

psh, some 'ending' to the post
who cares