i dont want to blame anyone anymore
i admit,
i did put on too much high hopes ,
knowing its worthless.
and i was over-desperate.
for what?

fool.

i really want to forget everything.
everything just done.
over.
gone.
if only people stop mentioning anything related anyhow.
it'll just bring more misery if i were to be reminded of the sour.

im having enough problems with mrs gan,
and i dont want to add to the grief.



oh yeah, mrs gan.

gahh, am i getting what i really deserve?
am i really such that kinda leader,
the one she made me out to be?

frankly, im lost in this area.
noone's guiding me.
i do want to talk to/confide in sery at times,
well she would understand right?

but she's been down these days.
i dont want to trouble her.
and make her even more stressed,
having to think of something for me.

actually, i kinda feel scared talking to her nowadays too.
dont ask, im unsure myself as to why

and im also afraid she might be disapointed in me
i know shes disappointed in me at HK.

buthas all these scoldings and repeated 'threats'
from mrs gan made it worse?

i do want sery to be proud of me.
& if i do make it and take over her next year,
i want her to pass down that red sash ,
slinging it over my shoulder
with such pride and honour.

guess i just gotta sacrifice more of my free time after band time more often.

there was band today,
ended at 12.
we headed to deon's crib and i got home kinda late.
1830?

my mum nearly called up mrs gan.
that was such SUCH a close shave.
mrs gan has given me a strong warning
and my post would be stripped off just like that if it happened again.

gahhh
phew
double phew

i never thought that i'd catch this
lovebug again

gahh i know it wont happen.
or maybe...
nah, impossible i guess?

i gotta make it to be just an infactuation !