ALHZ

Friday, December 19, 2008 12:04 AM

drum major

what we want is someone matured .
we have to re-look into you .

it just sucks that its all not appreciated / noticed.
who says im the type who dont put in effort in what i do.

one noticeboard could actually beat all the effort ive put in.
its no doubt all the efforts before weren't noticed .

im just so glad at least mrs chia appreciates .
it was for the jamiyah home visit.
only she seems to appreciate and show that she is.

frankly, i feel more determined to work harder
when she praised me and
had the sec ones applaud for me.

mrs gan said that the more criticism the better.
so one can know his or her flaws
and work on them

but does it really work?

personally,
i think both praises and criticisms are needed.
but so far,
its heavy on one side for me.
you know whats pulling me down

and if she thinks that way,
i dont see why some people dont get her criticisms.
she said it herself noone is perfect.
then what reason is there for leaving some people out?

and i remember i was told to cut my hair.
and that i had to set an example
if i were to take charge of discipline (attire) in the band.
i know of one guy who has much longer hair on his head .
but you never once said anything.
even if you do, i bet you'd say it nicely and not in a serious manner.

the thing is he actually was asked to check the other guys' hair
on the first morning of HK trip ( at the concourse before leaving ) ?

LOOK PEOPLE!
HE HAS THE LONGEST HAIR (guys) IN THE BAND !

why?
issit just cause he's hot?
he's handsome?
and its a waste if u ask him to cut his hair and he really does?

what happened to equality people?
fairness too

i look around and wonder why everyone else is more liked.
i can really put in more you know.
but i wasnt really given the chance to.

for instance,
HK trip.
i was not called out ONCE to help.
i wanted to take initiative but what else are there to be done?
everyone has taken over.

and when i dont do anyting (which i really didnt know what to)
im said to be childish and playful and not helping out.

(?)

the jamiyah home visit was so far the biggest task given to me.
and i foolishly thought thay through that,
i could be at least abit more liked,
abit more of a person whom they can put more confidence in.

but it didnt seem like so.

but i shall not be the loser i was.
who kept thinking of giving up after given a few (okay, alot) of criticisms.

im going to set my thinking straight.
giving up is NOT an option.

mrs gan is right.
i gotta improve on my flaws.
go beyond the sore feeling and think hard .

i know that someday,
i can prove to them im not irresponsible
or someone they can't put confidence in
or give big tasks
like handling the whole band .

i'll prove that im not what they've been thinking i am.
prove that i can be better,
good enough to be their drum major and lead the band.
im not only doing this for myself but for the band.
i want to elad the band well and let it soar to greater heights
(okay wait, is that too big?)
nevermind.

but i just hope someday will come .

tag replies :

shaffiqa : err i dont know what to say too.
well err,, you silly goose?