Being imperfect only means you're perfect,

as noone is.

so, go on and say proudly,

FRIENDSHIP;

- is about acceptance and love

- about having differences, so that there are things and views to share on things

instead of being bored of listening to someone commentson things you alr feel

-is also about having similarities to share,
both differences and similarities are needed

- is about quarelling, talking it out and making up, becoming even closer than before

- is about forgviness

- a true one, doesnt have an ending

- is for everyone, even whether you get it in return or not

- is happiness and bliss

- is strength and hope

- is difficult to build, but oh so easy to break

- is like trust ;

once broken, difficult to mend

so here's a shoutout to everyone ,

treasure all your friends , especially the closer ones,

as though it's the last day you're gonna spend w him/her.

if you feel that you're drifting apart, try not to let it happen,

it wont do good to both parties.

if he/she doesnt take the move to bridge the gaps, then you do it.

do not forget to shower enough care for any other friend,

do not disappoint you friends, especially the best

do not keep upsetting and angering them.

do not let your pursit of happiness and laughter

cause his/hers to not be achieved.

do not be selfish.

do not start regretting only when you've lost him/her .

do not,

be like me.

credits: msn.com

i like these kinda jeans!(not the colour part)

not too tight,
and not too baggy .

and i like it when it folds up a few layers at the bottom
hah

BUT I DO NOT KNOW HOW OR WHERE TO GET THEM
ahh, stupid me

H-E-L-P GUYS !

DAMN DO I NEED NEW TOPS !

but where , where
where to get nice ones!
somebody help !

simple,yet nice tees ?
nice cool shirt ?

anything that you think can suit me!
i seriously need suggestions man.
always dont know where to get apparels.

the t-shirt im most proud of is
my green emporio armani tee
i need more to be proud of ! hahah

HELP

LOVE

is more of giving it
rather than getting it .

is more for that special someone
rather than someone (you have feelings for or not) to you .

is poison
but may be a blessing in disguise .

is a dream or nightmare
depending on how you see it .

LOSS OF LOVE

is dreadful
as you feel that everything you ever needed is gone .

makes you weaker
or makes you stronger .

makes you blame your partner for it
or even blame yourself for it .

makes you thank him/her ;

for having once given the opportunity of getting together,

for the precious memories and moments you went through together
which made life more meaningful and colourful,

for the problems and hurt which makes you stronger, instead of weaker .

The true meaning of love
and the loss of it is what you want it to be.

you decide whether you want to be weakened by it,
or get stronger because of it .

you decide whether to put the blame on your partner or even yourself
for the loss of it
instead of being grateful for being given the chance of having it before.


okay, i dont know why im posting this.
haha random.
wonder if what i said makes sense.
haha comment ?

woots !

mr chua said that he saw a big improvement
in the way i conducted drills today
he also said to train ashiqin and guide her properly
so that when i graduate, the standard that i have already put
won't go down again
gahh, he said that i've created a higher standard !
^^
he also said to maintain whatever i am doing,
and better, to even increase it to another level

seryyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
ive done you proud ma'am !!

but its not the end, i'll make u even proud !
XB



sery totally touched me and made my dreams come true

when i was going to a hell of a rough time,
trying my best to prove to mrs chee that i can be the upcoming drum major,
but only seeing myself failing everytime
(well, who doesnt know that mrs chee's the biased type huh)
i told sery,
my wish now,
is to be facing you as you take the sash off and approach me with it
and as you put it over my shoulders,
you'd whisper to me, saying that you are proud of me..
but i doubt i can see that anymore..
i really feel like giving up alr

during rehearsals of the passing down of sash ceremony,
she gave me a rather cold shoulder
i smiled widely while facing her, but she didnt react the way i expected she would

the actual one came
we were standing in sedia position
since it was a formal occasion, i only showed a serious face
she 'psst' me and caught my attention

she whispered,
" hafizzzzz ..(smiles)"

and i went,
" seryyy... its time... ahhhhh (smiles) "

" hafizz, im so proud of you! (giggles) "

"(my eyes enlarged) really??? oh-my-god..."

then as she finished put it over my shoulders,she gave me a tight hug
it was really really a touching scene
tears really wanted to come out
but shock took over my whole body
my eyes enlarged
and i couldnt even move my body to hug her back !
and i wish i did !

she totally surprised me

THANK YOU SERY MA'AM !

YOU'RE THE BEST DRUM MAJOR SENIOR I COULD EVER ASK FOR
we've went through alot tgt
and also individually
i wont forget the times we were there for each other,
listening to our woes about drum major stuff

and as i went down from the stage,
newly appointed as current drum major,
with the red sash over my left shoulder and a mace to call my own

i went over to adila and she congratulated me and along with khai seng,
shook my hand .
upon hearing me say
" ahh, the time has come. it's finally time, the time ive been waiting so long for.."
syazwani started crying
she alr held in her tears since we played
can you feel the love tonight from lion king
and then watching the touching passing down of sash ceremony
and that sentence simply made her let out all the tears kept

i didnt realise that she was so proud of me
i didnt know anyone was

after a while, zany came up to me and told me that she actually cried for me
it was also a shock to me,
i didnt know that anyone would even cry for me, esp for this
then i told her ,
" its time right, im so so happy. all my hard work has paid off ! "
and she said
" ahh hafiz, dont make me cry again ! (starts tearing) "

and i started tearing too
and we hugged

" dont cry zany, you're making me cry too!
ahh.. i didnt know anyone would be this proud of me.."

"come one hafiz, everyone's proud of you,
everyone know how hard you worked for it . "

and we teared even more
HAHAH

so yeah, it was a really happy moment for me,
the passing down of sash and also knowing that there are people who are proud of me
^^

speaking of graduation party,
i damn miss the seniors alot ):

syazwani most, because she's the one i spend most of my time in band with

it feels wierd w/o sery being there
it feels wierd not having shaffiqa and atiqah to look at and communicate with sign languages
while playing timpani ):

it's empty w/o adila's crazy antiques

its empty w/o the seniors ):

i seriously dont know what's wrong w me nowadays..
ive been getting upset and quarelling w people,my closests,
these few days..

last two days, it was fiona
but it was resolved there and then,
on the same day, after our dispute

yesterday, it was gwen
we also managed to resolve it
both of us gave each other chances to exchange our views
and realise each other's faults and apologised for them
that, was resolved too

and today,

there were a few things i was upset with by eugene
i tried my best to get over it quickly and move on happily with him
till after band, where i let go of the tight grip of anger ive been holding for the whole day
i let it go..
i didnt want to,
but im not strong enough
im just too stressed out,
esp with the fact that ive been quarelling with two of my two closests
for the past 2 consecutive days

now he wont pick up calls

i personally think that if there's unhappiness between between two parties,
they should talk it out
talking it out is the best way to resolve it, even if it leads to a huge dispute
at least both parties are more aware of what their faults are
and what the other party truly feels and has to say

even if both parties decide to give a time-out from each other,
at least they'd think it over, sort out their thoughts and eventually forgive and forget

but i dont have a chance to talk to you ):

all i can do is hope that by tomorrow,
you'd forgive me and we can move on as usual


am i expecting too much from these people, my closests?
am i holding on too tight?
so tight that the slightest mistake made affects me badly?

i really gotta let loose

i know its my attitude
i really need counselling or any workshops on anger management
i know mine is very VERY poor
im fully aware of it

i tried to think of ways to solve matter

i gave myself a time-out this afternoon before band
but its not working,
not when im alone that is

when im sad,
i'd need someone to sit there by me,
most preferred is the person that saddened me,
showing that he/she still cares for me

when im angry,
i'd first want some alone time then after awhile,
i'd like someone to be there as well,
someone to hear me rant and pour out my unhappiness
and most preferrably also, the one that angered me, so we can express our views
and then resolve it there and then
so we can move on as usual

but nobody seems to understand me..
all they think is that i just want my alone time all the way when im unhappy
but thats not just it,
that's not the way
that might even worsen my state of feelings sometimes..

i just wonder who gets me..

i know im difficult..

im sorry,
to everyone that's around me and is affected by me and my poor anger management

i truly sincerely am..