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Saturday, May 16, 2009 4:01 AM
drowning
hmph
just given a slow talk by dad

and what,
i came back just 10 minutes late from ECP yesterday and he keeps on talking bout it since

& he says i never try to understand
never try to go back early on time
and i said,
noone gets somewhere on the dot
he says then get back earlier

its not always i get to go out
and during the rare chances i do, esp far places,
he expects me to go home earlier than my curfew then try to be on the dot?

and i did want to tell him this but i rather not
i just wanted him to stop talking
so that i can return to the room to continue on my dnt project
which is long over its deadline
i wanted to say

compared to everytime ive been home late,
this is by far THE EARLIEST
and plus, from somewhere on the OPPOSITE side of the country
10 minutes dad
10 minutes

you compare to the past
half an hour to and hour
aren't you happy enough?

you have no idea how many times the people i go out with always get unhappy with me
cause i have to be the earliest to go home EVERY SINGLE TIME
sometimes, causing them to follow along

and and

when we're out with our cousins,
the whole big family,
we have to be the first to go home too
esp at night, when there are no more prayers to perform
there's no other reasons not to stay out, is there

and my cousins all think they dont like this thing bout my dad
how bout myself

and the other time when only my sis and i
went along with the rest to sentosa
guess who played the spoilsport and caused everyone to go home as well
yeap u guessed it,
us

we just finished the skyline and luge

it was my very first time on it

my second time in sentosa
my first was when i was what, 5 ?

there was so much more for me to try
more actiticites
i was so damn excited
and so elated
i swear i could cry

and there went my dad texting my sis and i
" didnt i say not to come back early. come home now "
i never spoke a word after that msg
my cousins all had their black faces on
we were alr otw to the next activity, it was the 3d thingy i think
see, i dont even know what its called

and my aunt said to me
" nevermind lah, ur dad unhappy alr. lets just go home.
next time we bring you out again k?
but not always lah, sometimes .
okay? "

everyone else seemed to go sad too
the evening spoiled by us
i really, really felt bad for being the cause everyone had to go home
it goes the same when im with my friends..

and in the bus, leaving sentosa
i actually cried all the way back , trying as hard not to be seen doing so
my enthusiastic primary 4 cousin sat beside me
quietly,
as if he knew that i needed some alone and quiet time
i think only he saw me crying and heard me sobbing

alighted the bus, head down
and bid farewell to the rest as my sis and i went on home
while the rest headed for dinner




my parents always have this reason for not letting me out
that i cannot be trusted to stick to curfew
i thought this time it had all changed
i was only late by 10 minutes

and this afternoon,
fiona asked if i could go to sentosa
everyone alr can
i was so excited

but i couldnt
my mum changed her reasoning
and that it was because
i havent done my what, 4 qns worth of tuition homework
and i have religious class exam papers tmr morning

im not even gonna study for it in the first place
who does?
we all copy each other, some even taking out our books
almost the whole class cheats
we even tell answers through text msgs
my cousins even played their PSPs
and when they got caught, they were only told to keep it
and awhile later, they took it out again

who cares

gg back,
and i was the one spoiling the whole
second clique outing
they didnt want to go w/o me

once again, im really sorry guys.
for being such a spoilsport, k ?


hope you guys understand.

it isnt as easy for me to go out, near or far, as it is for you