listen

im sorry for being such a nuisance in your life

im sorry for bugging you when your status wrote 'away'
as far as i know,
if you didnt want to talk or be bothered,
you'd appear offline.
i didnt know it goes the same if you were 'away' ?

Besides, its not always you appear online.
if only you'd said you didnt feel like talking.
i could have sworn i wouldn't have disturbed you any longer,
which caused you to dislike or get annoyed by me further.

im sorry for bugging you in class,
with texts you didnt really want to reply.
i should have known you dont like to be disturbed when you're in class.
sorry

im sorry for hinting at you to take me to sentosa(my class outing)
when i didnt know how to get there.
im sorry that those hints somehow made you uncomfortable.
again, you should have told me.

im sorry for being a hypocrite in your eyes before.
ive explained on this
but i guess its okay if you cant help but to feel so.
i cant do anything to change it can i

im sorry for taking things for granted & thinking you were ever my best friend
when you didnt even really like me from the start.

why, ive been wondering?
someone told me before that because he treated me as a bro better than he did to you,
you didnt really like me then.

was it since then that you disliked me.
forget it,
it doesnt even matter anymore.

i only treated you as a bestfriend.
i didnt ask you to do the same?

im sorry for kb-ing your dearly loved ones that evening
which initially made you not want to go to the movies.
i didnt really intend to kb them but to only reason out my unhappiness

frankly, i had second thoughts on going to the cinemas too
but i didnt let my anger get the better of me
i didnt want to regret not going,
knowing it may be the last time i'd see you.

And i never regret it.
it was the last time i saw you.
it may be so , but ive been keeping that ticket in my wallet & ill always will.

im sorry for posting my feelings w/o thinking all this while.
A blog is an online diary & i only felt that diaries are where one pours everything out.
forgive me for the posts that have affected you.
i should have thought about your feelings

no, not only you, but..
i guess i brought it upon myself huh
i believe that that post blew it all & ended things between him and i


im not done just yet
my greatest apologies lie here

im sorry for badmouthing & cursing you
i told myself to hate you & find every means to do so.
i thought hatred would really finally allow me to let go of you,
let go of the past
&forget everything that had ever happened between the both of us
and move on w/o anything pulling me back.

but it proved me wrong

and frankly,
i did get unsatisfied when you first said that all you wanted was justice

i didnt see the sense of fairness before
and i didnt see why you deserve it more than i do now

and i dont see why you'd care and be worried
if everyone else in my clique would leave you
but me



flashbacks & conversations like 'the guitar trio'
& you agreeing to teach me to swim or sing to me
just appear every now and then

but im glad only sweet memories seem to come back
even though u didnt really keep your words
but good riddance to all the sour

ive finally realised that by doing all this bad stuff
it would just remind me of the sour
which i took so long to get over.
now it has all come back..

i should have known that it was good enough before this
i could move on easier, with nothing but the happiness from you before.
with that and a little pixie dust,
i could have flown.

the only thing needed left was time

i dont want any hatred to go on any longer
im glad i was once given a change to be your friend
& im so fortunate to have caught HSM3 in cinemas with you

thank you so much for everything
& once again,
im sorry.

al-hafiz , aka , (former) ali-baba