yesterday,
after band practise,
we headed to the cinemas.
HSM3 again,
awesome show.
syazwani deon sery asyiqin(bassoon) joanne
adhila atiqah farah( trumpet) and me.
sery asyiqin and me actually planned to strum guitars tgt after band.
little did i know,
they suddenly talked bout going to the movies.
wow?
i wasnt prepared?
and i doubted i could go,
cause i've went to the cinemas with zane and gwen just last saturday.
you dont know my mum,
its difficult for me to go to cinemas.
haiss,
so we discussed on the way
how to put it to my mum.
suddenly in JP,
POOF!
my mum walked passed us,
wow.
dumbfounded.
and i asked her if i could go,
she said no and walked off.
haiss,
than i called her phone,
asked again.
i got a scolding, a very bad one.
at one point of time,
she said,
"you think i print money ah? keep wasting money"
me:"but im using my money what."
mom: "yes its yours, but it came from me"
me: " but you gave it to me, its mine. i get to spend it dont i?"
mom:"your problem lah hafiz!" (hangs up)
she left me msgs,
saying im becoming more stubborn,
go out nvr tell parents already,
friends more impt than parents,
that sort of thing.
the others saw the msg and asked to sell the ticket
to hua dong who thought of coming.
but i said nvm.
so i went on to watch,
well i didnt want to dissapoint the others?
besides, it was my first time out w syazwani?
and i miss her lah,
'long time no see'
(;
reached home at four plus,
parents were'nt home yet.
so phew.
it was evening,
eugene called up.
we chat,
than i had to go for a moment.
i called him back at 8 plus?
it was only 9plus,
my dad came into the room and said,
"havent stop yet ah? use how long already?"
me: "(moaning)awhile more lah"
you see, i dont like my dad.
we're not so in good terms also.
awhile later,
sis came in to get her pillowss to get ready for bed.
she told me: "(frowning) dad ask you to stop lah"
me: " (unhappy)wait lah"
of course i was unhappy? suddenyl she came talking to me with such attitude.
she came in the secone time: "oi, dont understand ah? dad asked you to stop right!"
me: " CANNOT WAIT IS IT!?@"
soon later,
the man came into the room w/ a cane.
its been a long time since i saw that long frightening stick.
dad:" i asked your sis to ask you to stop right?! why did you scold her?!"
me:( i was about to say, that she talked to me w such attitude,
but knowing that my dad favours my sister the most out of all the siblings,
i kept it in.)
he went on scolding, holding that thing in his hands.
saying im becoming stubborn now.
chat for so long
(fuck it was only for about, AN HOUR?)
he told me to hang up, just like that.
fuck.
i was frowning throughout,
well tell me,
who would be so happy if he gets a scolding?
and he reprimanded, " FROWN SOMEMORE FROWN SOMEMORE!
I BEAT YOU UP THAN YOU KNOW,"
(swaying the cane around, wanting to land it on me but didnt.)
i talked back: " YOU CANT EXPECT ME TO BE SMILING, CAN YOU!?"
(i mean like yah, would YOU,dear readers, still be so happy if you get scolded?)
at this point in time,
eugene was calling back,
the screen on my phone kept flashing.
(dude, im sorry i hang up just like that)
my dad continued: " TALK BACK SOMEMORE! "
(swings the cane more know, aiming for my ears)
i was holding to my pillow,
i coverd my head.
he didnt hit me witht he cane.
seeing the flashing lights on my phone,
he asked me to switch it off.
he told me to go out and sleep right away.
on the way out, he attempted to hit me again,
but didnt.
i was preparing my matress outside,
and saw him gg into the room.
its obvious that he wanted to take my phone?
but it was in my pocket,
he went out of the room and told me to pass him my phone.
i went in again,took out the phone from my pocket and put it on the table outside.
watched tv,
heart fuming still w anger,
fuck my dad,
i dont like him.
since, like i dont know?
i stepped in secondary school life?
i just dont like the way he 'controls' me.
maybe what syazwani said was right
"at this point of time, sure have alot of quarrels w parents.
cause its the growing up stage.
you'll feel like you want to be abit more free"
i somehow agree.
cant my parents let go ABIT? just ABIT?
and why are they so biased to my sister?
im allowed to use only an hour on the compt,
but she?
she uses it from from late afternoon all the way to 9pm,
when i would get online.
i tried to use the compt at about 2pm for awhile that day,
and use it again at 9 at night.
but my dad came in to tell me to not use it at night,
since i've used it in the afternoon.
fuck?
i ever told him why my sister could have the liberty of using the compt for more hours.
he didnt care for what i had to say
and only just told me to switch off the comp immediately?
FUCK I TELL YOU FUCK.
& you know what, i nearly ran away from home last night.
but since i didnt have anywhere to go to,
anyone to turn to,well, didnt want to impose on them?
so i just told myself not to,
shut my eyes,
wiped the tear,
and tried to get some sleep.
