Friday, September 5, 2008 2:45 AM
totally didnt feel like attending math supp today.
sacrificed it to go out w someone special.
after giving tonnes of call,
i finally got an answer.
he didnt want to go out.
i said, if he didnt want to go out, i'd go over to his house then.
he said his sister was at home.
i kept pleading,
even under his block was acceptable.
but he just doesnt want to.
he also said he told his friend he wont be going out. he doesnt want to.
i wonder how special that 'friend' is?
last tuesday i told him i wanted to go out w him.
still, he put me aside.
im a friend too?
fuck
now all i want to say is thatim not needed as much anymore,
but i guess i should say,
imm not needed at all...
i was pissed,
i said something i shouldnt before i hung up.
im such a son of a bitch,
that was such a bad move hafiz.
i picked up my math stuff and guitar,and headed out.
i walked and walkedmind occupied.
is he mad at me?
i know, im stupid to have said it.
to my astonishment,
i looked ard me and found myself under deon's house.
wth,i guess im used to walking that route.
moved on.
looked ard me again,
and dumbfounded was i to find myself under eugene's house.
sat down there for awhile,
the usual place i used to sit every sunday.
then i headed to pioneer mall, had a quick walk and returned to his void deck.
sat for awhile and went on again.
i walk2 and came upon a canal.
since i have nowhere else to go,
i walked alongside it.
gosh,
it brought me places ive never been.
so deserted.
ive walked for about an hour,
still i dont know where i was.
it has just been long deserted path all the way.
i havent had a drop of water.
i havent had a crump of food.
i havent had a second of rest.
i kept moving on.
still, thinking.
i found myself at this jurong lake?
i read the map,
and damn its small and im lost.
there was a juntion in that park.
left or right?
i chose right.
halfway through,
i figured, it was a bad turn.
i went all the way back to get to the opposite side.
damn long trail there.
walk and walk.i shouted and screamed along the way.
i sang my heart out.
but as if its gonna make things better.
finally i reached.
the canal near our sch.
finally had a short rest there.
Well, i didnt intend to rest there.
i was checking on my toes.
dang there were blisters.
oh oh two bled
wait, do blisters bleed?
or maybe they werent blisters?
i out back my socks and limped my way to sch.
i've walked for two hours,w/o a sip of water ,
carrying that guitar on my shoulders.
1pm-3pm
sat at concourse,
well yeah, alone.
watched aaron do drills with the other st john members.
oh, i miss doing drill with you
suddenly stacie,yu siang and alicia came behind meand asked if i was okay.
wtf, i thot class was over or mrs gan found out i skipped class.
but it was only their break.
phew
i waited and waited
for gwen elena and fiona.
well, esp gwen. hehe
after dismissal,
they told me they were going to bugiscause gwen wanted to get herself a tanktop.
wtf,
went home alone.
at the busstop,uzair said my lips were dry.
hah, oh really?
-legs and shoulders ache.
my fingers shiver as i write this, as i think of you. im really sorry. really, i am. forgive me ? only you turn my frown upside down,
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