we were just going on well
and suddenly, poof.
you're gone.
we clinched our fingers cyber-ly.
you told me to remind you of your promise
if you start it again.
you even promised that that was the last time you get mad at me.
promises arent meant to be broken.

you claimed you understood
and no longer think that i was a hypocrite.
but is it true?
you know the answer very well.
and i do too.

its obvious.

and dont tell me you'll rake up the pasts incidents
and start disliking me over again?
we agreed to move on,
throw away the sour pasts.
moreover, we ''just knew each other'' that day.
we re-introduced ouselves.
where are your words.
were they meant to be meaningless from the start?

am i really a scourge to you?
am i a burden?

you said you understood after everytime i tried to explain.

but its all not worth it now.
my words,
my determination,
my penance.

filled with qualms,
im unsure what i should/shouldnt do.
tormented by guilt,
i only find all the sorries worthless.

what must i do till you forgive me and we can restart anew?
must i really leave the someone you need most?
would you be more contented then,
and forgive & start liking me again?

i'd give anything now,
to hear from you again



tell me something,
anything.
just talk to me would you.



the fatique of waiting for you.


no matter how much of a wally i may be,
relinquish will never be a choice.

i'll be waiting.


-ALI BABA

you don't have to care anymore.
well, if you don't want to.
i don't want to be a burden
& end up hurting myself.

i dont know.

it'll soon blow over i hope.

i need to find you .

the three of us ( deon zeke hafiz )
are worried enough
its not as if its better now,
its not as if we can just close an eye.
its not as if we can just forget you .
you,
have been part of our lives.
and suddenly,

poof

you're missing .
we havent heard ANYTHING from you.
not even news of you,
well maybe a little
but its not enough .
simply not.
we do reminisce time spent w you tgt.
those times.

and we would always talk about the time we played bowling together
near taman jurong(not sure of name) .
and you payed for us.
it was damn expensive.
we wanted to pay back,
but its either you wouldnt let us or we forgot to.
either one,
i forgot.
but that was something we wanted to go through again, really.
and i actually key-ed in "pai kia" as your player name
hah and you smiled and ask why .
its cause you dye-d your hair somewhat redish, and spike i think?
heh,remember?

&if im not wrong,
zeke was "guai kia" .
i named nazhiifah "minah malaysia"
& she named me " mat rep"
i cant remember what deon's nick was, can you ?


and the other time,
teacher's day last year.
i followed them back to shuqun.
while they played basketball at the court,
you stayed behind w me in mac at the cc near shuqun .
you ever told me you liked singing
& i asked you to sing to me then, when we were sitting tgt.
i can still rmb that shy look on you.
yet, you still sang a little to me.
but very soft.
and very soon after you stopped.



we really miss your presence
& its empty with only your absence lingering on .

went over to grandma's on saturday.
last minute decided to sleep over at auntie mia's house.

borrowed kak khalisah's spare phone and texted a few people that night.
didnt sleep the whole night, waiting for replies .

eugene only replied to say his bill burst .
elena didnt reply at all,
i only remembered her phone being confiscated at night ard 3+ in the morning .
deon replied.
but i didnt disturb him any longer once he reached home from the temple .

thanks, syafiq for accompanying me thoughout .
it was fun chatting w him random stuffs in the dark in the room
while my sister, kak khalisah and abg syamil watched tv outside in the living room .
both syafiq and i fell asleep around 3.30 am.
but woke up again 30 minutes later.
when auntie mia have prepared our EARLY breakfast .
bbq stingray.
yum favourite !

syafiq went back to sleep soon after,
i watched tv with the other two girls.
still waiting for any replies.
and soon enough, i fell asleep
around 5?

oh oh,
here are some pictures taken at my grandma's
(see the larger view, click on the pictures)


people involved:
kak ika(in yellow),reva(the baby)
adik nur(in pink),my sister(in white)
kak khalisah(middle part of the picture)
abang syafiq(at the back) and me(playing with the small mirror)



















all shows disgusted face as adik nur poses eek-ily